TODAY WE LIKE: YO MAJESTY

As promised in penance yesterday, Yo Majesty are today’s Song Of The Day.

They are amazing because they are dykedelic butch Black devout Christians who like to flash their boobies. It’s a thing.

And they sound pretty hot – pre-gangsta-rap electro hip-hop with hooks galore.

Kele from Bloc Party was wearing their T-shirt at Reading last weekend.

They say stuff like this in interviews:


“In San Francisco a girl got on stage and started humping Jwl. She was aiight. But we kept playin’. Jwl started humping her back. The show must go on.”

They’re coming to the UK in October for another tour.

S’it.

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MOTHER TERESA: "GOD = :("

Shocka #1: Mother Teresa was not down with The Almighty.

Shocka #2: Mama T invented emo in 1956:

"Such deep longing for God and ... repulsed empty no faith no love no zeal ... Heaven means nothing pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything."

She is so going to guest on the new Fall Out Boy album.

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JOSS WHEDON: WONDER WOMB MAN (LOL)

Nnnghgh: Katie Holmes is in talks to star in the Wonder Woman movie. Why is this so irritating? I’m not one for hating on a sister, but she’s kind of on my list. She’s a sponge of a woman, absorbing those around her until she has no identity of her own and then stepping back into meek silence when it’s brought into question. Or she could just be dignified and content. Whatever. I’m picking a side.


This much-mooted big-screen WW will be a huge disappointment if 'Kate Cruise' takes the lead, because it’s hard to see her as anything other than a simpering accessory. But it’ll probably be a huge disappointment even if she doesn’t get it, since Joss Whedon is no longer on board (he left citing the old “creative differences”).

And his leaving the project is a tragedy of modern movies. Seriously. Joss Whedon’s a smart Hollywood player who’ll actually speak up against things he disagrees with. I remembered a post he made to his fansite Whedonesque back in May, an eloquent post about violence against women. It made me do a swoon. Among the highlights:

I watched the trailer for Captivity… Pretty much all you learn is that Elisha Cuthbert is beautiful, then kidnapped, inventively, repeatedly and horrifically tortured, and that the first thing she screams is “I’m sorry”… Women’s inferiority – in fact, their malevolence – is as ingrained in American popular culture as it is anywhere they’re sporting burkhas. I find it in movies, I hear it in the jokes of colleagues, I see it plastered on billboards, and not just the ones for horror movies. Women are weak. Women are manipulative. Women are somehow morally unfinished… [more]

After licking the screen with love, I went back further to a speech Joss gave in 2006 to Equality Now, who recognised his awesomeness with an award. And Meryl Streep only bloody introduces and lauds him. Permanent life motto: if it’s good enough for Meryl, it’s good enough for us. And it's well worth the 10 minutes or so it takes to watch:



This is all a very, very long way of saying that I wouldn’t like Katie Holmes to be Wonder Woman, if that’s alright, thanks. Rebecca

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BY GEORGE

The Famous Five series is being “reimagined” as an adult drama with the crime-busting posh kids all entering middle age.

So a bit like that This Life +10 then, except it’s probably better, because, well, it was the worst programme ever made, ever, in the history of TV, ever.

One thing – George, she of boyish persuasions, had better be banging the beaver drum. She was such a lez.

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WE'VE BEEN ON HOLIDAY

By we, I mean I. And by holiday, I mean festival fun and then sitting at home watching TV. I really should get the hang of this "I'm not going to be posting" thing before going away, instead of afterwards...

Have this to make up for it...

It's a picture of Yo Majesty! And a sneak preview of what tomorrow's Song Of The Day will be (ie them). Woo!

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LE PHOTOSHOP, C’EST CHIC

We at Polyester love a good airbrush. Three cheers for J-Lo bleached into oblivion; a big hoop-lah for a skeletal Teri Hatcher. If we wanted to see them in the flesh, we'd bloody well stalk them.

So we happily applaud Nicolas Sarkozy, who appears to have had his holiday love handles brushed out by French mag Paris Match. But considering Sarkozy is good mates with Match's owner (and, in the past, he's had an editor fired for revealing his wife Cecilia's affair) we can assume it's all been done in collusion. Which is fine by us...

It's not that Sarkozy looks better a little more toned; body image is so last year. It's that he's got the power to change how he looks on a day-to-day basis: like Mystique from X-Men, but without the blue skin and the uncomfortable fag-hag relationship with Ian McKellen. If you could get touched up digitally, wouldn't you nab the chance? And before you go claiming reality, pictures are real. Nowadays, no-one sees each other in the flesh anymore: mere mortals poke on Facebook, stars communicate via blogs and OK!. A touched-up photo is just as good as plastic surgery and it’s significantly cheaper.

Sarkozy points us to the future. One day we'll all be changing how we look from one day to the next, with none of the hair-colour problems which beset poor Esther Rantzen. Amen. Louis

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TODAY WE LIKE: LATE OF THE PIER

On the Polyester playlist this fine morning:

Late Of The Pier - Bathroom Gurgle

As usual, it is over there.

And here is the artwork.



And here is their website.
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SUCH A DRAG

This recent Paris Hilton pap shot - is she auditioning for the lead in Mommie Dearest 2?



Let's take a closer look:



[via x17]

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PROSSIE HEELS

What do you buy the prostitute with everything? A pair of sat-nav safety wedges, of course. The Aphrodite Project has built a prototype shoe that’s a safety device, an advertising tool and a killer pair of heels.

The ‘Platform 001’ comes with noble intentions. The heels hide a multitude of handy features like an alarm wired straight to local police, a hidden compartment for money and keys, a screen that links to a ‘problem client blog’ and even a fully-functional GPS system.


But our favourite feature is the built-in screen’s secondary purpose: ‘promotion’. There’s a demonstration of how you can upload a nice video of flowers and statues, along with your phone number, so you can advertise your services while simultaneously engaging in them. Not sure exactly how that works, unless you’re hanging your feet out of a car window…

OK, OK, so it’s a “social sculpture”, and is making a point rather than touting itself as a viable product. But still, wouldn’t this be brilliant on Dragons’ Den? Rebecca

[The Aphrodite Project, via ShinyShiny]

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TODAY WE LIKE: NIRVANA

Our song of the day is...

Nirvana - Been A Son

As this post title cunningly suggests, we're posting a different song we like every day. You'll be able to stream it in the cassette over there on the right. Retro!

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REASONS TO LOVE FRANCE #1

From Reuters:

“The illegitimate daughter of late President Francois Mitterrand is raising eyebrows in France with a novel that some accuse her of basing on a gruesome real-life case of child murder…”

Stories like that: yet another reason j’adore la France.

[via Yahoo]

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SNOOP'S DOGS

News trickles in of a planned 50 Cent diet product range (“Hey ladies, wanna look like a hulking beefcake of shot-up flesh and muscle?”), to add to his imminent “Formula 50 Glacéau Vitaminwater”. But, like much of Fiddy’s output, product endorsement has been done before, and better.

I give you… Snoop’s Dogg Pets.

The black Dogg-Father hoodie:



The polyester/cotton-blend T-shirt:



And the boom-box dog toy with sound chip:



A word of advice for G-Unit – stop ballsing about with beverages and get into animal clothing. Rebecca

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FASHION: WEAK

You’ve got to admire a piece about kids’ clothing that declares “baby goes Bauhaus” with a poker-face. Good old Vogue’s Most Wanted Of The Week is onto the little ones and they want you to splash a lot of cash. It’s just so hard to know whether to choose between the £300 cashmere blanket...


...or the £400 embroidery of baby's most favouritest drawing.

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THE TAMMY FAYE NECKLACE

Ultimate televangelist Tammy Faye Messner’s recent passing must have put a dent in the world’s mascara market (if only from the drop-off in her purchases alone). Luckily, the woman and her slap have been commemorated in the form of the Tammy Faye eyelash necklace – containing real human hair.



Is it wrong to desperately want one?

[CoolHunting, via Jezebel]

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REASONS TO LOVE JANICE DICKINSON, #176

She probably covered up the “I’d rather” and “than wear fur” parts and walked around the city rounding up men.

[via Perez Hilton]

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