Thursday, 1 November 2007


I know this is grabbing at weird celebrity obsession straws here, but if anyone shares my Ask Ro fixation… Yesterday (or maybe the day before) Rosie mentioned Edith Piaf on her blog. Then this happened:

Lucinda writes:

What’s the best movie you have seen this year?

la vie en rose

Ooooh, me too! It was sprawling and messy but cor, what a tragic icon. Marion Cotillard was stunning and I’m a sucker for anything with the line “Marlene” offered as a self-introduction to Dietrich because the actress looked nothing like her…

And that’s your Ask Ro update for today.


Allow me to enter happy teen geek mode. The prospect of a new Joss Whedon series excites me as much as the new My So-Called Life box set (more on that later). Add Eliza Dushku into the mix and I’m sold, especially since Joss is an official Polyester hero.

The new show, currently known as Dollhouse, is kind of complicated and is explained thoroughly in this EW article, but it sounds even better in the words of his leading lady:

“It's this whole mindtrip of objectification. It's going to have sex and heartbreak and violence and hilarity. That, to me, is a hot show."

On an unrelated note, Eliza should totally have played Edie Sedgwick in Factory Girl. She’s the spit. Or has this already been done to death on IMDB boards? Am I too 2006 for the second time today? Yeah, well, fuck you. Now that wasn't very nice, was it?


LOADS of people in America dressed up as Amy Winehouse for Halloween, boys and girls alike. Literally hundreds. Probably thousands. Maybe millions. I like the idea of a Winehouse Zombie Army rampaging through America drawing scraggy felt-tip tit-tattoos on their victims...

BrooklynVegan has 90+ pictures here, while Perez has gathered up some that feature the Perez-a-likes too, here.

On that note, anyone got any ideas for a Celebrity Rehab costume for this weekend? Is Mary-Kate too 2006?

Wednesday, 31 October 2007


Frankly, 'Licia, your denials of lady-loving are as tiresome as the trash-mongers who call you a rug-muncher for having no style, but you’re basically taking their side here:

“I was definitely rough around the edges. I look back at certain interviews and I'm like, 'Damn! Did I have to look that hard? Did I have to do my hair that way?'”

She’s an idiot, but, to use the Keys logic, one glance at her wardrobe could have told us that years ago. Much better to take the Mel C approach to lez-be-friend refuting and leave it as a rhetorical question:

“Because I have short hair and am quite muscular with a few tattoos, am I the stereotypical lesbian?”

If you squint at that for long enough, you can sort of see what she means – she can butch up without craving fanny, thank you. And at least she’s avoiding Alicia’s fear of butch (though, with that attitude, how does she explain this?).

In fact, this is all getting boring. To redress the endless denial-cycle balance, Kate Moss would now come out, shave her head, get a rainbow flag tattooed on her face and open an organic café/dungaree emporium. Sorry, was I saying something about stereotypes?


Thursday, 27 September 2007


Courtney Love’s got a new-found penchant for 3000-word MySpace blogs addressing everything from re-touched pap shots to vicious celebrity gossip and just, you know, her general day-to-day life and shit. They’re epic, rambling, occasionally incoherent works of genius. In a world of diluted, inexpert celebrity gossip, where anyone can publish an opinion as fact, her blogs are gospel. When Sharon Osbourne recently accused Courtney of giving Jack drugs, there was no need to wait a week to get a response from “a close friend” in Heat. Here’s Courtney!

sharon knows thats NONSENSICAL but she was too cowardly to pick on Elton who shes apparently vicious about behind his back . Ive never heard this then again we dont... hang . Desperation or someone on a kamikaze mission- ? ..hmmmmm? . and Madge who she must just be scared of-=she just avoided that one. hmmmm. the plot thins. love the kids. Love Kelly love Jack love the dad, hell i even thought her and i were fine but she m ustve been sooooo scared and desperate to pull that one outta her butt, cos its just so insane Thous shalt not bear false witness. ESPECIALLY ABOUT CHILDREN! i Feel sorry for her that she resorted to such abusive lies . I hope she learns a little more about karma. bless. Sorry but,when it comes to kids i just cannot no comment.

Vets don’t get this close to the horse’s mouth. It’s of-the-moment brilliance.

But this outpouring of what Cult Of The Amateur author Andrew Keen calls “mass exhibitionism on an unprecedented scale” has a peculiar side effect: unwanted obsessions with random celebrities. A personal aside: a Courtney Love fixation, however fresh, is to be expected from a former grungekid steeped in hopeless Hole nostalgia. But in the name of flannel shirts and babydoll dresses, I never expected to be saddled with a Rosie O’Donnell addiction.

But Ro, dear Ro, I cannot stop reading about you and yours on the internet.

There’s the magnificent blog, a cryptic splurge of quoted song lyrics, haiku-style advice, tabloid-gossip denials and cultural recommendations. I know that Rosie loves Joni Mitchell and Sharon Osbourne (her again!). I know that she’s spiritual (“ATONEMENT / at one ment / at one with God”). I know that she wasn’t being mean when she turned down Oprah’s interview request (“although fueds seems 2 b all the rage / there isnt one / regardless of what u read / or see on fast food tv”). And I know she’s into Amy Winehouse, because she posted a video of herself singing along to Rehab.

It’s not the blog, however seductive, that makes this a daily staple. There are others out there. Courtney could have stolen her thunder. But then I discovered Ask Ro, her daily Q&A session, the mouth-agape gossip-fodder that positions Rosie as a politician-messiah-martyr-mother deity who will tackle anything, for anyone. See:

For writes:
My mom gave up pills & shrinks & took up religion. Then killed herself after a lifetime of battling mental illness. When a person loses all hope, empathy is key & political stance matters a damn.
love 2 u

And another:

Bridget writes:
Do you ever let the kids go tubing behind your boat? Those are my best memories as a child.
oh yes

And one more:

Lee writes:
Call me stupid…I love the sound of sea gulls.
me 2

Posters don’t just want love and advice. Ro even tackles the hate mail, of which there’s a considerable amount:

Stella writes:
Hey RO,
if you tried more religion, you could give up pills and the shrink, u & millions of selfish libs
oh stella

The withering “oh stella” says it all. In fact, I’m worried about Rosie. I’m worried that she’s sacrificing herself to take on this mammoth communication task. She sounds weary. I might send her an e-hug.

That concern for Rosie O’Donnell’s well-being is now part of my life is a testament to the power of blogs. She’s made her story indispensable for people who didn’t know they cared. And this is the future of celebrity – indiscriminate fascination for endlessly blogging celebrities, constantly raising the bar by revealing more and more about their psyches. It’s why Lindsay Lohan’s barely literate, well-meaning letter about Robert Altman’s demise is much more intriguing than an anonymous report on another DUI arrest. Time will tell, but Rosie O’Donnell could be in the process of reinventing fame. And I’ll be reading about it as it happens.


Wednesday, 26 September 2007


New motto: "A little Whitney, a little Dolly, a little Beth, that's fine."

It sure is fine by us, any time you like, Beth.

What a fine, fine way to end today's day of love.


Hard as it is to believe I’m writing this, Lil Kim has outstayed her welcome, so it’s time for a brand-spanking song of the day to take us through the next few weeks. This isn’t new, as such, but I’ve been listening to it a lot lately – here’s the Thom Yorke-sampling Us Placers, by Kanye, Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell.

Over there. On the right. That’s it. Gently does it...


The modern age is bewildering. War rages. Hysteria grows about crime and punishment. The climate’s shot to shit. And there are people who just don’t get Mariah Carey: a woman so ridiculous that she now has an assistant whose sole responsibility is taking care of Mimi's tit tape.

Why is she (Mariah, not the assistant - at least, not just yet) not being offered an honorary damehood, for services to the camp and surreal?

Remember, she needs somebody to hold her beverage while she sips, and rumours abound that she has an employee whose sole task is to change her tampon. I’d do that job, just to put it on my CV. Who cares if it’s not even true? Mariah makes it believable, and for that, she is awesome.

[via Hollywood Rag]


Sarah Silverman reminisces about her abortion glory days, to the soundtrack of Time Of Your Life:

I saw Jesus Is Magic at the weekend. Just to continue today's love-in theme.


There’s all this talk of Marco Pierre White being totally 4 real in the kitchen and everything, but it’s left to one half of Two Fat Ladies to raise the authentic culinary stakes: Clarissa Dickson Wright (um, right - you know, the one that's not dead) is being prosecuted for alleged hare coursing, which has been illegal since the fox-hunting ban.

You don’t get that sort of nonsense from Jamie Oliver. Read more...


Not literally, obv. I must be feeling intergalactic today because every post is about love, love, love. Jennifer Saunders, on my list since childhood thanks to that French & Saunders sketch where they drop half a Tic-Tac and throw shapes to the Home & Away theme tune, is back with a new BBC2 series, The Life And Times Of Vivienne Vyle.

There’s a lengthy interview in today’s Guardian about the show, which is, bizarrely, co-written with House Of Tiny Tearaways’ child-rearing expert Tanya Byron and which spoofs shows like Jeremy Kyle. I’m watching a preview of it tonight so I’ve yet to see if it lives up to its promise, but here’s an excerpt which explains why she’s at the top of my admirational mountain. (Yes, I’ve got one. And what.)

"We wanted it to look like a European art film, but on a low budget. We got a director [Rupert Jones] who had absolutely no experience of shooting TV comedy. The way it looks and the way the character is treated are much more to do with Woody Allen and Pedro Almodóvar than with Absolutely Fabulous."

I think it’s love.

Read the full thing here.



Calling Janice Dickinson “tacky”, Perez Hilton, is like calling Britney a headcase – it’s a lifestyle, yo. She thrives on it.

Here's Janice visiting the site of Gianni Versace’s murder:

If there was a religion centred around her batshit-insanity, with Tyra Banks voodoo dolls and Everything About Me Is Fake… And I’m Perfect as its holy text, I’d be out on the streets canvassing like a Scientologist. She is God.


Get ur nacho on: Missy, oh so quiet of late, has been busy eating crisps for cash.

Watch the video at the wonderful Jezebel, who are going up in my already high estimation because they post about everything. Missy. does. Loves it.

Tuesday, 18 September 2007


...because there may be changes afoot, because for a whole host of reasons this isn't working like I want it to. In the meantime, the Gossip just posted this on their MySpace bulletins - Standing In The Way Of Control being performed on Australian Idol. It's a strange old world.

They say it's a "total embarrassment". I say it's kind of awesome. Tomatoes, tomatoes.


Monday, 10 September 2007


So Song Of The Day isn't always going to be a new band. Today it is L'il Kim, because I've been listening to her all weekend, and because she's so ridiculously too much, and because this picture looks nice on the homepage.

And since you clicked through and I can't turn that fucking feature off, have some L'il Kim facts: she's 4' 11"! Her middle name is Denise! Paris is a pussy - Kimberly Denise got a 366-day sentence for perjury!