Monday, 10 September 2007

CUT!

You know that famous Guerrilla Girls campaign around the Oscars back in 2002? The one about the US Senate being more progressive than Hollywood, because just 4% of directors are female? Adjust the figures: someone defected. Larry Wachowski, of the Matrix-making Wachowski Brothers, recently completed the transition from male to female, and, intriguingly, will be talking to the press about becoming Lana.

Given that even Jodie Foster won’t talk about being gay, or even being outed (she gave a juicy quote to Entertainment Weekly on that magazine cover… oh, hold on, she said “no comment”. Yawn), this sounds pretty cool.

Except that now, the people behind the Wachowskis’ new movie Speed Racer are denying the whole sex change thing. There’s a probing piece about it on Cinematical, which pretty much implies that Speed Racer bosses want to avoid “negative publicity” around the film. The site earlier reported that Lana would not be allowed to handle the movie’s publicity, for fear of alienating an audience.

Excuse the righteousness, but every time something about trannys, homos, dykes, queers, lezzos, poofs or fags crops up in Hollywood, it reverts right back to the silent era. Because that sort of thing doesn’t exist in the entertainment business. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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THINGS NOT TO DO IN GERMANY #1

Props to the extreme ridiculousness of German talk show host Eva Herman, who showed extreme awareness of her nation’s politically-sensitive history by expressing admiration for Nazi “values like the family, children and motherhood...

And killing Jews and gays. Cooooool.”

OK, I embellished. She still got sacked, though.

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SARAH SWOON-VERMAN

Yet another reason to girl-crush on Sarah Silverman… as we needed yet another reason.



Look out for the bit where she turns her face into a vagina.
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WRITERS: THICK

Remember us posting about the French author Mazarine Pingeot, who wrote a novel with more than a passing resemblance to an open case? Distasteful, perhaps, but Pingeot just isn’t going far enough to shock.

Polish pulp writer Krystian Bala, on the other hand, has just been sentenced to 25 years in prison for his role in the abduction, torture and murder of his wife’s alleged lover, which he then recounted in suspiciously perfect detail in his next thriller. Like, duh.

Still, if it’s good enough for OJ Simpson…

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Thursday, 6 September 2007

TWATTOOS

Everyone (OK, literally me and one other person on googlechat today) talks about Marc Jacobs’ boyfriend Jason Preston having his boo's logo tattooed on his forearm. Kind of weird. Kind of funny. Imagine if he shacked up with the head of Asda.

But Jase clearly has tat taste, because he’s just got a giant ‘Mariah’ inked across his tum – in honour of Mimi, obv:

“I grew up loving her, and now that I know her, I love her even more. I know I'll never regret it, so that's why I got it.”


Girl is fierce.

[via Jezebel, image via Perez Hilton]
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Wednesday, 5 September 2007

SAINT WINEHOUSE

Amy Winehouse not only impressed the industry-packed audience at the Mercury Music Prize last night, she used the down-time of the interval to cure AIDS, cancer and the common cold.

Pope Benedict XVI joined the clamour of praise for the singer today by offering Winehouse a beatitude, adding: “If she can prove she’s performed a miracle (other than turning up for a gig) we’ll waive the whole ‘death’ part and promote her straight to Saint.”


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KLAXONS VERY, VERY HAPPY WITH WIN



Q: How happy is James?

A: Very happy!
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LADIES, LOVE YOUR LABIA

Two funny things involving the word ‘labia’:


1. If you go to Rome on the train, you get off in a coach station and there’s a bus going to Labia. It’s written in big on the front.

2. My lip balm has got ‘labial’ down the side, presumably for those non-English speaking European Spanish types. I find it amusing. I’m puerile and proud.

Something less funny: ‘labiaplasty’. Cosmetic surgery on lady-parts has increased over 400 per cent in the US over the past 10 years, and doctors are concerned at the lack of safety procedures in place. Meaning you could end up with a minnie less attractive than Wino’s track marks.

But better still is Newsweek’s headline: ‘Be careful down there’. As if you could accidentally slice off bits of, um, your bits.

You know America has that ‘Got milk?’ poster campaign? Get female celebs to pose, legs akimbo, with the slogan: 'Filles, stop fiddling with your fannies!'

You can have that one for free.

[via Consumerist]
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TODAY WE LIKE: JOHN ET JEHN

And why are John et Jehn our Song Of The Day?

Because they are a bit French.

And that is a motto for every walk of life.
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Thursday, 30 August 2007

TODAY WE LIKE: YO MAJESTY

As promised in penance yesterday, Yo Majesty are today’s Song Of The Day.

They are amazing because they are dykedelic butch Black devout Christians who like to flash their boobies. It’s a thing.

And they sound pretty hot – pre-gangsta-rap electro hip-hop with hooks galore.

Kele from Bloc Party was wearing their T-shirt at Reading last weekend.

They say stuff like this in interviews:


“In San Francisco a girl got on stage and started humping Jwl. She was aiight. But we kept playin’. Jwl started humping her back. The show must go on.”

They’re coming to the UK in October for another tour.

S’it.
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MOTHER TERESA: "GOD = :("

Shocka #1: Mother Teresa was not down with The Almighty.

Shocka #2: Mama T invented emo in 1956:

"Such deep longing for God and ... repulsed empty no faith no love no zeal ... Heaven means nothing pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything."

She is so going to guest on the new Fall Out Boy album.

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Wednesday, 29 August 2007

JOSS WHEDON: WONDER WOMB MAN (LOL)

Nnnghgh: Katie Holmes is in talks to star in the Wonder Woman movie. Why is this so irritating? I’m not one for hating on a sister, but she’s kind of on my list. She’s a sponge of a woman, absorbing those around her until she has no identity of her own and then stepping back into meek silence when it’s brought into question. Or she could just be dignified and content. Whatever. I’m picking a side.


This much-mooted big-screen WW will be a huge disappointment if 'Kate Cruise' takes the lead, because it’s hard to see her as anything other than a simpering accessory. But it’ll probably be a huge disappointment even if she doesn’t get it, since Joss Whedon is no longer on board (he left citing the old “creative differences”).

And his leaving the project is a tragedy of modern movies. Seriously. Joss Whedon’s a smart Hollywood player who’ll actually speak up against things he disagrees with. I remembered a post he made to his fansite Whedonesque back in May, an eloquent post about violence against women. It made me do a swoon. Among the highlights:

I watched the trailer for Captivity… Pretty much all you learn is that Elisha Cuthbert is beautiful, then kidnapped, inventively, repeatedly and horrifically tortured, and that the first thing she screams is “I’m sorry”… Women’s inferiority – in fact, their malevolence – is as ingrained in American popular culture as it is anywhere they’re sporting burkhas. I find it in movies, I hear it in the jokes of colleagues, I see it plastered on billboards, and not just the ones for horror movies. Women are weak. Women are manipulative. Women are somehow morally unfinished… [more]

After licking the screen with love, I went back further to a speech Joss gave in 2006 to Equality Now, who recognised his awesomeness with an award. And Meryl Streep only bloody introduces and lauds him. Permanent life motto: if it’s good enough for Meryl, it’s good enough for us. And it's well worth the 10 minutes or so it takes to watch:



This is all a very, very long way of saying that I wouldn’t like Katie Holmes to be Wonder Woman, if that’s alright, thanks. Rebecca
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BY GEORGE

The Famous Five series is being “reimagined” as an adult drama with the crime-busting posh kids all entering middle age.

So a bit like that This Life +10 then, except it’s probably better, because, well, it was the worst programme ever made, ever, in the history of TV, ever.

One thing – George, she of boyish persuasions, had better be banging the beaver drum. She was such a lez.

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WE'VE BEEN ON HOLIDAY

By we, I mean I. And by holiday, I mean festival fun and then sitting at home watching TV. I really should get the hang of this "I'm not going to be posting" thing before going away, instead of afterwards...

Have this to make up for it...

It's a picture of Yo Majesty! And a sneak preview of what tomorrow's Song Of The Day will be (ie them). Woo!


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Thursday, 23 August 2007

LE PHOTOSHOP, C’EST CHIC

We at Polyester love a good airbrush. Three cheers for J-Lo bleached into oblivion; a big hoop-lah for a skeletal Teri Hatcher. If we wanted to see them in the flesh, we'd bloody well stalk them.

So we happily applaud Nicolas Sarkozy, who appears to have had his holiday love handles brushed out by French mag Paris Match. But considering Sarkozy is good mates with Match's owner (and, in the past, he's had an editor fired for revealing his wife Cecilia's affair) we can assume it's all been done in collusion. Which is fine by us...

It's not that Sarkozy looks better a little more toned; body image is so last year. It's that he's got the power to change how he looks on a day-to-day basis: like Mystique from X-Men, but without the blue skin and the uncomfortable fag-hag relationship with Ian McKellen. If you could get touched up digitally, wouldn't you nab the chance? And before you go claiming reality, pictures are real. Nowadays, no-one sees each other in the flesh anymore: mere mortals poke on Facebook, stars communicate via blogs and OK!. A touched-up photo is just as good as plastic surgery and it’s significantly cheaper.

Sarkozy points us to the future. One day we'll all be changing how we look from one day to the next, with none of the hair-colour problems which beset poor Esther Rantzen. Amen. Louis
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